Last day of the year

Well, this is the last night of the year of the pig. Silly, superstitious me. I actually thought this would be the year I found that special someone. I gave up eating pork with the hopes of the big mother sow in the sky taking pity on me and sending me a boar to love. I guess that was pretty dumb, but it was kinda' fun daydreaming about it. Oh well.

I'd hate to day that the year ended on a down note, but it kinda' did. No word from the editor, no realistic nibbles on the romance front. My finances are pretty crappy. All things considered, I think I'm half a step behind where I was last new year.

Maybe I'm just bummed out a lot lately. I've been writing a bunch of my feelings into s series of inappropriately adult stories, and that's been helping me get a good feel for where I am and where I'm coming from.

I'm moving out of this house. Getting a little apartment on my own. I figure I can get a little place, live in it for a few years and pay down my debts a good deal, and then move up into somewhere cooler. Being on my own will probably be very helpful. I'll be free to be myself, to date, to live my own life. It's gonna be great. Of course, the process hasn't been all joy and excitement, but that's what writing is for.

Anyway. I hope the year of the rat is better to me. I feel so stupidly EMO. I mean, my friends and I laugh at the morose idiots who drone on in their LJ's about being lonesome, and here I am. SO, let me get it out of my system.

There's nothing shittier in this world than being alone in a room full of people. All of the people with whom I regularly hang out are spoken for. Not that I'm interested in dating any of them, but “And then there's Nick,” has become my fucking life slogan.

Seven of us go out. Him and him, him and her, her and him- and then there's Nick. Sure, I've been invited into two romances, by two couples. Sure, let me hop right into that one- let's be neglected by twice as many people now.

This shit really sucks. Coming up on another fucking Valentines day single. *sensitive details deleted for inclusion in previously mentioned story* I hate looking at it. All this love all this happiness- everything from which I am excluded. That is why being in my own apartment will be so nice. I will be alone, but it will be okay, because I really will be alone.